I’ve been in my new position about three months now and met with half a dozen clients and just as many vendors, had countless phone calls, given two speeches and worked more hours than I care to count. It’s been a challenge and many thanks to those I’ve forced to listen to me. I’m adjusting to a different work schedule, a different language, new colleagues and time zone differences. I can now direct dial Singapore and Hong Kong without looking up the access codes and I’ve talked to clients and colleagues in Europe and Africa. Mercer is a global company and working out of Shanghai it feels that way.
Today we had a meeting with an employer coalition that we’ve been helping at a multinational level for several years. However, this was the first time local Chinese HR was involved and we had a great turnout. The majority of the meeting was in Chinese, but I (the foreigner) gave the intro in English on the Chinese healthcare system and compared it to the current system and issues in the US. I even got a couple of laughs out of the crowd. It was great.
Looking back I thought I’d document the two most common conversation starters during the breaks.
Conversation #1:
Me: “Are you finding the conference useful?”
Client A: “Your Chinese is so good!” [This is normally spoken in English which I find ironic.]
Conversation #2
Me: “很高兴认识你。我看你的名片，你是经理吗？” [Pleased to meet you. I see from your card you’re the manager, right?”]
Client B: 你很漂亮。(You’re very beautiful.) [This one I’ve only heard so far in Chinese. The first time it happened I thought it was a one-off thing, but it happened multiple times now. I was trying to imagine what some of my female colleagues in the States would do if that happened to them during a meeting. My imagination only gets so far.]
Then the discussion will inevitably switch to why I came to China, how long I’ve worked at Mercer, etc. None of my side conversations actually talked about business, but I figure, eventually…
After the session we took two photos – one with the clients present and one with the vendors. Everyone else was wearing black or navy but I was wearing my dark pink jacket. I stood out for sure – in a good way. Watch out China! I’m here!
Question: Ladies – how would you respond to, “You’re so beautiful?” Gents – would you have the guts to say it at a business meeting?
To surviving!
G
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5 comments:
I'm wondering if "You're so beautiful" is a cultural thing, such as giving someone you just meet a compliment, like I like your tie, or I've heard so many good things about you? It's funny that it's at the front of the conversation, not towards the end. The thing is, to Americans, it's such a personal phrase and a part of a seduction, that it must have really thrown you. What did you say back? I think the liguistic differences are very interesting--keep them coming. Oh, and all this is not to say you are not very beautiful, because you are, but a strange thing to say in a work environment.
i cant imagine hearing it.... but id like to think id respond with something like... 'yes.. yes i am...." ;)
"That's funny. I don't remember seeing that on my business card anywhere!" :-)
Good luck, girlie! I know you're holding your own there. Of course, my response would be much more crude if I were on the bus than in a business meeting. (Believe me, I've had more practice than I'd like to remember.) I wonder if it's a cultural thing or not, but I would be irritated if someone said that to me in a business setting. Another more straight up response would be, "I'm sorry. I must not have spoken clearly. I was actually asking about your role here with the company."
Other options (depending on your desired level of sassiness or professionalism):
"Really? Perhaps I should add that to my resume."
"Thank you. That tie/blouse/haircut/etc. suits you really well."
"Yeah. I get that a lot."
"Do you think, or is it just that I look different from everyone else?"
"If I had a dollar for every time I heard that I could retire tomorrow."
"Hmm...I don't think that one is listed anywhere in the issues important to healthcare."
"A lot of people have been telling me that. Do you think I should get it looked into? Is it some sort of medical condition?"
"Are you trying to change the topic?"
Shall I go on... ;-) Love ya!
Those who said that were just being honest, like “很傻，很天真”，哈哈～
Representing guys of the male gender here:
No. No, I could not imagine myself saying something like that. At least not as an opener. Perhaps near the end of a professionally-focused conversation that both sides were actively enjoying. And the female in question would have to be sending obvious signs (with me, make that OBVIOUS signs). Then, ...maybe.
US cultural mores towards workplace professionalism (i.e. sensitivity workshops) have done an amazing job of squashing all fruits of potential harassment into a fine spreadable paste. There's no way to give an unprovoked compliment like that in America without sounding either cheesy or creepy.
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